How to Feel Your Best on Dialysis

"How to Feel Your Best on Dialysis"...what a preposterous claim...as I sit here with a pretty bad headache at 3:14 in the morning! I wish I had a comprehensive list of things to do, but alas, it is not to be. Beyond taking a steady stream of painkillers to combat these all-too-frequent headaches...which works sometimes but most of the time NOT, I cannot say. Oh yeah, there is the strategy of showing up in the ER for the REALLY strong painkillers, like injections of Hydromorphone or Tor idol for the bad bad headaches...been there 10 times in the past 30 days or so...but those drugs have some nasty side-effects all of their own.

One thing I've found helpful for that past few nights is "Melatonin", which is a naturally occurring hormone that signals sleep in your brain. That seems to help quite a bit in the drifting off to sleep thing at, you know, 10:30 or so at night. When you suffer from insomnia...which apparently is quite common for us dialysis patients...it is a huge relief to just naturally fall asleep like a normal human. Not to mention, Melatonin has very few, if any, side-effects. My doctor actually prescribed a certain medication to help with insomnia that had many nasty (possible) side effects that included high blood pressure, nausea and vomiting to name but a few.

Oh yay, like I need those side effects when they are some of the side effects that I already suffer from taking the pile of meds I'm already on!

The reason I'm going on about insomnia is...this is one of the things I wrestle with frequently. I have found that without a good night's sleep everything else tends to go to hell in a hand basket, not to put too fine a point on it. There, now that I've got that off my chest, maybe I can get a bit more sleep, with any luck.

"Dancing with Rejection" Available Across Platforms

I was happy to discover some advanced features at the FriesenPress portal for my first book ...

"Dancing with Rejection: A Beginner's Guide to Immortality"  this morning.

Cover Art features a remake of my "Recovery" mural, originally designed in 1979.

The book is now available at Amazon.com in the "Kindle" version at this link.

You can now preview the first 40 pages at this link.

Who will this book appeal to? Certainly my fellow Dialysis Warriors (this book is for YOU!) and also kidney transplant donors (Earth Angels ALL!) and of course kidney transplant recipients...but also, art lovers of all stripes.

With a couple of my bestselling author buddies in Saskatoon...Left -Right: Jefferson Smith, Wes Funk and myself.

Michael R. Gaudet was diagnosed with end-stage renal failure only fourteen years after his father, Robert, died of kidney disease in Michael’s childhood. After his initial diagnosis, Michael was determined to achieve a measure of immortality. 

He designed and painted the seminal mural "Recovery 1", which he donated to the Toronto hospital that saved his life. This singular act cast the mold for the rest of his life, in which he battled chronic kidney disease and forged a career as one of Canada’s best-known mural painters. 

Michael has since designed and painted over 60 large murals across Canada. Today, he lives with his wife Sharon in the resort village of Manitou Beach in central Saskatchewan, where they own and operate a seasonal art gallery called “G-G’s Gallery & Gifts.” 

Michael is in the final stages of releasing Book 1 of the trilogy "Dancing with Rejection: A Beginner's Guide to Immortality". Please steer your search engine here to visit the Facebook page that was created to usher in the launch. Curious? Could this be the book for you? Come on over, we'll see you there.

The Excitement Mounts as "Dancing w Rejection" is PUBLISHED!

After about two years of intense focus...despite or maybe because of...battling the mental fogginess that comes along with kidney failure... I am so excited. Why? Because as of late last week, I was informed by the great folks at "Friesen Press" that my 1st book, "Dancing with Rejection: A Beginner's Guide to Immortality" has been published!

After juggling countless moving parts, I was thrilled to finally hold the "proof copies" in my hands!

You can imagine, after all of this time, that it is a big deal to finally see this "Passion Project" come to fruition. Even at this early juncture, it is now possible to go ahead...to begin generating sales. This thanks once again to FriesenPress, as their policy is to "print on demand".

I stacked my "Proof Copy" units to invoke my first official order!

My father Robert sadly passed away at the tender age of 29, leaving behind his wife and six young children. It was therefore my joy to dedicate my "Passion Project" to his memory. I will be so happy and proud to see his memory surface as a heroic figure in "Dancing with Rejection". In fact, this aspiration is one of the paramount reasons why I set out on this writing adventure.

Robert Joseph Gaudet, my loving father, who was struck down in his youth by kidney failure. 

I will do everything in my power to honor and cherish the memory of my dad. His indomitable spirit will live on in the pages of "Dancing with Rejection: A Beginner's Guide to Immortality". Once you read the book, you will clearly understand the thinly-veiled reference to this!

The author shown receiving life-saving "dialysis therapy", a 3x a week measure, with no end in sight.

Michael R. Gaudet was diagnosed with end-stage renal failure only fourteen years after his father, Robert, died of kidney disease in Michael’s childhood. After his initial diagnosis, Michael was determined to achieve a measure of immortality. 

He designed and painted the seminal mural "Recovery 1", which he donated to the Toronto hospital that saved his life. This singular act cast the mold for the rest of his life, in which he battled chronic kidney disease and forged a career as one of Canada’s best-known mural painters. 

Michael has since designed and painted over 60 large murals across Canada. Today, he lives with his wife Sharon in the resort village of Manitou Beach in central Saskatchewan, where they own and operate a seasonal art gallery called “G-G’s Gallery & Gifts.” 

Michael is in the final stages of releasing Book 1 of the trilogy "Dancing with Rejection: A Beginner's Guide to Immortality". Please steer your search engine here to visit the Facebook page that was created to usher in the launch. Curious? Could this be the book for you? Come on over, we'll see you there.

Dancing with Rejection: COMING SOON.

COMING SOON ! 

Michael R. Gaudet was diagnosed with end-stage renal failure only fourteen years after his father, Robert, died of kidney disease in Michael’s childhood. After his initial diagnosis, Michael was determined to achieve a measure of immortality. 

He designed and painted the seminal mural "Recovery 1", which he donated to the Toronto hospital that saved his life. This singular act cast the mold for the rest of his life, in which he battled chronic kidney disease and forged a career as one of Canada’s best-known mural painters. 

Michael has since designed and painted over 60 large murals across Canada. Today, he lives with his wife Sharon in the resort village of Manitou Beach in central Saskatchewan, where they own and operate a seasonal art gallery called “G-G’s Gallery & Gifts.” 

Michael is in the final stages of releasing Book 1 of the trilogy "Dancing with Rejection: A Beginner's Guide to Immortality". Please steer your search engine here to visit the Facebook page that was created to usher in the launch. Curious? Could this be the book for you? Come on over, we'll see you there.

KidneyMatch.org...An Interview with Founder Dylan Loewe

My friend Dylan Loewe of WestWingWriters fame has recently launched an amazing new website called www.KidneyMatch.org that is designed to facilitate the successful matching of kidney donor to recipient.  This website operates on the premise that should a kidney patient in need of a living donor present with a so-called "incompatible" donor ( which means a willing live donor, but of a different blood type) then the pair is entered into a massive data base which seeks the most "compatible" donor and then unites the well-matched pair. The incompatible donor is then also united with their best match!

Dylan has very generously offered to answer a few of my questions regarding his role as president of www.KidneyMatch.org, wrapped around his busy schedule today. A couple of months ago, this gentleman joined the Facebook group that my wife Sharon and I founded called Kidney Transplant Donors and Recipients. This group is one of the busiest places on the internet for all things "kidney", with almost 12,000 active members from every corner of the globe.

MRG: What was your chief motivation for launching www.KidneyMatch.org?

DL: I wanted to empower kidney patients. I wanted to give people an easy way to meet each other, find each other, and save each other's lives. And that just doesn't exist right now. 
I remember reading an article years ago about a young woman who found a paired match by searching message boards, and I just thought, there has to be a better way. And that really was my inspiration for Kidney Match. Coping with ESRD and dialysis is already hard enough. In my view, it's just completely indefensible to have a system that is this complicated and difficult to navigate. It should be as simple as using an app on your smartphone. Which, by the way, we are currently developing for Kidney Match.

MRG: Is there a cost for potential donors and recipients to take advantage of what the website has to offer? 

DL: Absolutely not.  And there never will be. Using the site will always be free.  Here's how I think about it: when we help facilitate a paired swap, the hospitals that perform the transplants will make money.  The insurance companies will save money because a post-transplant patient is far less expensive than on on dialysis.  The pharmaceutical companies will make money because they will have new people taking immune suppressants and other post-transplant medications.  That's a lot of companies that will stand to profit if Kidney Match is successful. So it should be them-and not the patients-who support our yearly budget.  And by the way, they agree!  They've been nothing but supportive in our conversations so far.

MRG: Has the website been successful in its mandate? I appreciate that these are early days, but do you have any success stories to share? 

DL: We're obviously still in the very early days, but I can confidently say that, yes, it has been successful so far.  People on the site are communicating with each other on a daily basis and many of them have found potential matches.  I suspect it'll be another three months or so before the first of those matches goes all the way to the transplantation stage.

MRG: Will you post these stories of human triumph on the site?

DL:  Absolutely, with permission, of course.

MRG: How do you propose to share the information that is garnered on your website with the medical community to expedite the successful candidates for their life-saving surgery?

DL:  We work directly with transplant centers to help coordinate and facilitate matches.  Once two pairs on the site let us know that they want to match with each other, we run their medical data (with permission) through a complex algorithm to determine the probability of a successful match.  Then we pass that information along to the transplant centers, where they can do confirming cross match testing.

The algorithm we use was developed by one of the world's foremost experts on kidney exchange algorithms and software.  He currently works on the team that manages the algorithm and software for UNOS.  He's brilliant and we are so lucky to have him.

One other thing I'd add:  Sometimes when patients join Kidney Match, they don't even have to start searching for a match, before we contact them to tell them that we've found one!  That's because we run everyone in our pool through the algorithm software the moment they sign up, to see if they have an ideal match already on the site.  We want to be as proactive as possible, so if our software tells us you have a match, we'll get in touch and start the process right away.

Dylan Loewe (left) with Vice-President Joe Biden on Air Force 1.

Michael R. Gaudet was diagnosed with end-stage renal failure only fourteen years after his father, Robert, died of kidney disease in Michael’s childhood. After his initial diagnosis, Michael was determined to achieve a measure of immortality. He received a wildly successful kidney transplant which sustained him for over 34 years, but returned to dialysis therapy in mid-May of 2014. He now awaits a second "Gift of Life".

He designed and painted the seminal mural "Recovery 1", which he donated to the Toronto hospital that saved his life. This singular act cast the mold for the rest of his life, in which he battled chronic kidney disease and forged a career as one of Canada’s best-known mural painters. 

Michael has since designed and painted over 60 large murals across Canada. Today, he lives with his wife Sharon in the resort village of Manitou Beach in central Saskatchewan, where they own and operate a seasonal art gallery called “G-G’s Gallery & Gifts.” 

Michael is in the final stages of releasing Book 1 of the trilogy "Dancing with Rejection: A Beginner's Guide to Immortality". Please steer your search engine here to visit the Facebook page that was created to usher in the launch. Curious? Could this be the book for you? Come on over, we'll see you there.

A "Visual Prayer" for Every Kidney Patient

About two years ago, my wife Sharon and I started a Facebook group called "Kidney Transplant Donors and Recipients" (aka "KTDR") . She and I were the first two members. Within a year, the membership had swelled to over one-thousand members! The purpose of this group was to create a community that would hopefully share encouragement and moral support. It was working. There was a palpable spirit of sharing and caring that we all enjoyed in those early days. At the beginning, I decided to use the seminal "Recovery" mural as our masthead. I'm referring to the notorious mural that I designed and painted at age 21, that was donated to the Toronto hospital that plucked me back from the abyss of an early grave with a life-saving intervention: dialysis.

Seminal mural "Recovery" was designed and painted at age 21, and donated to the Toronto hospital that saved my life.

When the group was first founded, I still had bragging rights to over thirty-four years with my wildly successful kidney transplant from my brother Steve, which took place on that glorious day of October 17th, 1979. It felt good to be able to say that I held the "kidney transplant longevity record" for Saskatchewan at that time. A year later, our ranks mushroomed to in excess of twelve-thousand worldwide members!

As kidney patients and their caregivers are constantly saying to anyone that will listen, a kidney transplant is NOT a cure, but it is damn good treatment, when all goes well! Flash forward to mid-May of 2014...this was the time when I finally admitted, after about two final years of kicking and screaming in protest, that the life of my transplanted kidney had reached its "best before date". Certain lethal substances were above and beyond acceptable levels in my bloodstream. I was dangerously close to a heart attack, or stroking out. Dialysis was once again imperative!

Once the dust settled after I went back on dialysis, I decided that the "generic" image of the "recovery" figures needed to be more specific, so I revisited the image to tweak it with a certain attribute. After all, I reasoned, the image was in its own way a kind of "invocation" for health in much the same way that my ancient forefathers painted "game" on their cave walls as a sort of visual prayer for a successful hunt. I decided, bearing this progeny in mind, to strategically place a "kidney" in the abdomen of the figure on the far right, to plant that seed in the cosmos...to invoke a SECOND TRANSPLANT from a LIVING DONOR.

There is a subtle but powerful change in the 2015 version of my "Recovery" image. 

Now this revised version of the "Recovery" motif graces the masthead of KTDR, as a visual prayer for ALL the members and for every kidney patient worldwide, that we may ALL attract a living donor, and having done so, sustain glowing, vibrant health for many many year! That is my prayer that I offer up to the universe.

Michael R. Gaudet was diagnosed with end-stage renal failure only fourteen years after his father, Robert, died of kidney disease in Michael’s childhood. After his initial diagnosis, Michael was determined to achieve a measure of immortality. 

He designed and painted the seminal mural "Recovery 1", which he donated to the Toronto hospital that saved his life. This singular act cast the mold for the rest of his life, in which he battled chronic kidney disease and forged a career as one of Canada’s best-known mural painters. 

Michael has since designed and painted over 60 large murals across Canada. Today, he lives with his wife Sharon in the resort village of Manitou Beach in central Saskatchewan, where they own and operate a seasonal art gallery called “G-G’s Gallery & Gifts.” 

Michael is in the final stages of releasing Book 1 of the trilogy "Dancing with Rejection: A Beginner's Guide to Immortality". Please steer your search engine here to visit the Facebook page that was created to usher in the launch. Curious? Could this be the book for you? Come on over, we'll see you there.

A Love Letter to the Universe

In the space of 24 hours I went from feeling helplessly stranded without transportation to and from dialysis therapy (my faithful van died!) to being surprised and delighted by the arrival in my life of a different vehicle. I couldn't have anticipated this happening so swiftly...but now that I've driven the new-to-me vehicle from home into Saskatoon, to arrive on time for dialysis today, I'm feeling richly blessed by the universe. To be more specific, I'm feeling blessed to have such a good friend who is watching my back, to suggest this vehicle!

It's a V-6 Toyota Camry, which means I will enjoy considerably better fuel efficiency over the Ford WindStar that just croaked. Driving into the city this morning, I had this deep feeling of gratitude...could have been the high-fidelity stereo cranked up, or the cruise control activated...I don't know, but that feeling was palpable.

I decided in my secret heart that the very best course to take, even with all of the challenges of dealing with the reality of Chronic Renal Disease, has got to be...think and live positively.

Michael R. Gaudet was diagnosed with end-stage renal failure only fourteen years after his father, Robert, died of kidney disease in Michael’s childhood. After his initial diagnosis, Michael was determined to achieve a measure of immortality. 

He designed and painted the seminal mural "Recovery 1", which he donated to the Toronto hospital that saved his life. This singular act cast the mold for the rest of his life, in which he battled chronic kidney disease and forged a career as one of Canada’s best-known mural painters. 

Michael has since designed and painted over 60 large murals across Canada. Today, he lives with his wife Sharon in the resort village of Manitou Beach in central Saskatchewan, where they own and operate a seasonal art gallery called “G-G’s Gallery & Gifts.” 

Michael is in the final stages of releasing Book 1 of the trilogy "Dancing with Rejection: A Beginner's Guide to Immortality". Please steer your search engine here to visit the Facebook page that was created to usher in the launch. Curious? Could this be the book for you? Come on over, we'll see you there.

Dialysis Transportation Crisis Averted...BIG sigh of relief.

Without wheels, I was contemplating switching to a 2-hr 2x a day bus ride. Seriously! After our faithful van died, we were pretty much in crisis mode. You know what happens when we miss dialysis. Not pretty. With dialysis, it is literally "Do or Die!"  

We put our hearts out to the universe and whaat? 

The Toyota Camry gets much better mileage versus the Ford Wind-Star

The next day I'm driving a (albeit high mileage) '98 Toyota Camry, thanks to a little help from my friends. 

Speaking of friends, I am hearing from them that the Camry is a durable, extremely long-lasting vehicle. There are smiles all around, that for the time being we have travel security to and from Saskatoon. Considering in the past 12 months or so I've put over 24,000 kms on the van driving back and forth to dialysis 3x a week, it feels GOOD to know that my mobility is not deprived, as I glumly stewed over that thought only LAST NIGHT.

 "...I believe in the fertility of the universe..."

Michael R. Gaudet was diagnosed with end-stage renal failure only fourteen years after his father, Robert, died of kidney disease in Michael’s childhood. After his initial diagnosis, Michael was determined to achieve a measure of immortality. 

He designed and painted the seminal mural "Recovery 1", which he donated to the Toronto hospital that saved his life. This singular act cast the mold for the rest of his life, in which he battled chronic kidney disease and forged a career as one of Canada’s best-known mural painters. 

Michael has since designed and painted over 60 large murals across Canada. Today, he lives with his wife Sharon in the resort village of Manitou Beach in central Saskatchewan, where they own and operate a seasonal art gallery called “G-G’s Gallery & Gifts.” 

Michael is in the final stages of releasing Book 1 of the trilogy "Dancing with Rejection: A Beginner's Guide to Immortality". Please steer your search engine here to visit the Facebook page that was created to usher in the launch. Curious? Could this be the book for you? Come on over, we'll see you there.

Dialogues with Psyche Continue!

So, I apparently over-estimated my ability to complete an insanely detailed ink drawing of a crocodile in a timely manner, but hey! It turned out amazing and has been a great project to work on during my home dialysis runs, so all's well that ends well, right?  I do believe there might be a plot developing somewhere in my neuro-space, so stay tuned and enjoy!
Cheers,
Ilara

3 Top Reasons I Love Dialysis

Happy to be alive to fight another day.

Now that the I am coming around to one full year since I started dialysis again (after my first kick at the can way back in 1979, before my first kidney transplant in 1979 that sustained me for 34+ years!) I think I have a bit of perspective on it. Hence, I can list the "3 Top Reasons I Love Dialysis". 

1) It's keeping me alive to fight another day. There is no question, without the life-saving intervention of dialysis, I would not be here to tap the keys. Some of the toxins in my bloodstream were so elevated before I started that my doctor told me I was in danger of a heart attack or stroke. He said something to the effect..."Please consider starting dialysis BEFORE we see you in an emergency situation. We don't want to lose you." 

Three times a week...I sit for 4 hours in this chair.

2) My blood is getting cleaned to qualify me for another transplant. Though we know dialysis is a life-saving therapy, it is NOT the most preferred lifestyle for a (relatively) young, busy man like me. Dedicating three days a week to this is a big commitment. Even a kidney transplant...miraculous as it might seem...is NOT a cure, and I am a living testament to this. On the other hand, a kidney transplant is certainly a huge improvement over thrice-weekly dialysis IMHO.

3) I spend my dialysis time being productive, thanks to my trusty laptop. In the past year I have been working on fine-tuning my memoir called "Dancing with Rejection: A Beginner's Guide to Immortality". Point your search engine to this link to read more.

Holding the first "Copy Proofs" of the "Dancing with..." trilogy.

Michael R. Gaudet was diagnosed with end-stage renal failure only fourteen years after his father, Robert, died of kidney disease in Michael’s childhood. After his initial diagnosis, Michael was determined to achieve a measure of immortality. 

He designed and painted the seminal mural "Recovery 1", which he donated to the Toronto hospital that saved his life. This singular act cast the mold for the rest of his life, in which he battled chronic kidney disease and forged a career as one of Canada’s best-known mural painters. 

Michael has since designed and painted over 60 large murals across Canada. Today, he lives with his wife Sharon in the resort village of Manitou Beach in central Saskatchewan, where they own and operate a seasonal art gallery called “G-G’s Gallery & Gifts.” 

Michael is in the final stages of releasing Book 1 of the trilogy "Dancing with Rejection: A Beginner's Guide to Immortality". Please steer your search engine here to visit the Facebook page that was created to usher in the launch. Curious? Could this be the book for you? Come on over, we'll see you there.

Life as a Dialysis Patient...It Goes on!

As promised, here is the 10-minute film created and produced by Bamboo Shoots Inc. for Sasktel Max TV that went to air a couple of weeks ago:

 

To read more about "Dancing with Rejection: A Beginner's Guide to Immortality" (coming soon!) please point your browser to this link.

Meet Jeff States, 72-year old Kidney Donor!

As founder of the Facebook group "Kidney Transplant Donors and Recipients", which 

is a "closed group" due to privacy issues, I have been privileged to read thousands of

inspiring, life-affirming stories of triumph over adversity. Jeff States decided to become what 

we fondly have come to call an "Earth Angel" by donating one of his kidneys to his brother-in-

law at the age of 72. This is his story, in his own words. Thank you so, Jeff, for not only this 

selfless act, but also for demonstrating in a singular act of courage that there is always hope, 

and that we can live to fight another day.

Michael R. Gaudet.
Please visit : mrgaudet.com

"Earth Angel" Jeff States Donates Kidney at 72.

"I wish Michael well on his 'new' kidney journey and also wish him well with his new blog  about 'all things kidney' ."

I first met Michael on a site dedicated to kidney donors, recipients and their families. Michael

lives in Canada and I live in the United States. He is a past kidney recipient and a potential 

future kidney recipient.

I am a kidney donor. My story began when my brother-in-law was diagnosed with End-Stage

Kidney Failure in 2011. By 2012, no one in the family was a match and he had to go on

dialysis. I watched my wife suffer for her younger brother and, although I had no relationship

whatsoever with him, I told her that I would be willing to get tested. She was shocked, but

immediately called her brother. To his credit, he told his sister that I would never have to spend 

a penny during the evaluation process.

We live 1,200 miles apart from each other. At that time I knew nothing about kidney disease

or what was involved in becoming a living kidney donor. I just assumed it was the right thing to

do. My evaluation took 4-5 months. Since my wife's brother lives in New York and I live in 

Florida, I would fly to the hospital where he was on dialysis to go through the testing process.

I will be forever grateful that he had chosen the New York Presbyterian / Weill Cornell 

Medical Center in New York City. I later found out that they are one of the top three kidney

transplant centers in the United States. I was eventually approved to donate to my wife's brother

and our surgeries were scheduled for 12/6/2012. It is now almost two and a half years post-op 

and both the recipient and donor are issue free.

I have learned much about being a living donor and I have become an advocate in South 

Florida, working to get the appropriate information "out there" to the general public, who, like

I was several years ago, are almost totally ignorant about kidney disease and what it means to

become a living donor. My brother-in-law will be 59 later this year and I will be 75.


I was 72 at the time of donation and became the oldest surviving living kidney donor to go 

through the living kidney donation process in the past 53 years of the hospital's transplantation 

program.

"Earth Angel" cradles a kidney, which gestates as a prayer of invocation.

Kidney Health...Be Pro-Active.

As a person who has dealt with the ups and downs of kidney health (and lack thereof) for all of my adult life, one thing I can say for sure is this: a simple yearly blood test will reveal in a distinct outline the state of your renal fitness.

Stay ahead with annual check-ups.

If I had only realized this as a teenager, I'm sure now, in retrospect, that my life would have been much less traumatic. I had the typical mindset of invincibility as a young man, thinking that my health picture was AOK, even as I suffered the long, slow decline that ultimately landed me in the ER at Sunnybrooke Medical Center in Toronto with End Stage Renal Failure. If "End Stage" sounds ominous, it's because it is! At the time, I was informed in no uncertain terms that I was a "walking toxic waste dump", and further, the admitting doctors had no Earthly idea how I'd even managed to make it into the ER under my own locomotion.

Your annual physical will include very revealing blood tests.

If I'd had the presence of mind to monitor my health with even a single yearly blood test, I could have had treatment options made available to me well before I nearly perished. So, my best advice to you is to take that simple step...get your butt into your GP's office at least on an annual basis for a check-up including blood-work. Sometimes ignorance is NOT bliss.

Michael R. Gaudet was diagnosed with end-stage renal failure only fourteen years after his father, Robert, died of kidney disease in Michael’s childhood. After his initial diagnosis, Michael was determined to achieve a measure of immortality. 

He designed and painted the seminal mural "Recovery 1", which he donated to the Toronto hospital that saved his life. This singular act cast the mold for the rest of his life, in which he battled chronic kidney disease and forged a career as one of Canada’s best-known mural painters. 

Michael has since designed and painted over 60 large murals across Canada. Today, he lives with his wife Sharon in the resort village of Manitou Beach in central Saskatchewan, where they own and operate a seasonal art gallery called “G-G’s Gallery & Gifts.” 

Michael is in the final stages of releasing Book 1 of the trilogy "Dancing with Rejection: A Beginner's Guide to Immortality". Please steer your search engine here to visit the Facebook page that was created to usher in the launch. Curious? Could this be the book for you? Come on over, we'll see you there.

Dialogues of Psyche

Hello lovely readers!
I've been taking myself on "Artist Dates"  (check out Julia Cameron's book, The Artist's Way if this peaked your interest!) for a little over a year now, and my latest resulted in purchasing some sketching pens and the creation of the following... We'll see if it turns into anything beyond this one page, but I'm quite happy with this one page so I wanted to share it!  Enjoy!
Peace,
Ilara

Ilara is an Edmonton-based writer, visual artist, community builder, and seeker of wisdom in the little moments.  She has been a lifelong advocate for people with disabilities, having lived with chronic conditions her entire life, and spent many of her teen and early adult years working and living in communities for adults with disabilities while always stretching to pursue her own creative spirit. 

Ilara now works as the Director of Religious Education for Westwood Unitarian Congregation and is an active member of Assiniboia Community Housing Co-operative.  She is inspired by the people in her life, a love of synchronicity, and a passion for digging into the depths of who she is and how things are connected.  She is fueled by a passion for people, peace, and a yearning for the ineffable sense of balance of power that she believes is still possible somehow.

Ilara Stefaniuk-Gaudet Poem on Wonder

My daughter Ilara recently read the "Proof Copy" of my upcoming memoir "Dancing with Rejection:

A Beginner's Guide to Immortality". In response, she wrote this moving poem as a tribute:

Ilara and her dad Michael.

On Wonder

Awe-struck;

We are shaped and held so

intimately

by the stories that we 

are told, and 

that we tell each other;

Their words weave us together,

stitching souls into the 

images 

that define us.

It feels like 

just yesterday;

Myself as a child,

pleading with my Papa

to tell me a story 

about when he was my age;

I would listen,

wide-eyed and totally enthralled.

When I was old enough to read,

he started typing up his stories;

Grand adventures of travel

and love and

miraculous happenings; 

I would ingest his words, 

enchanted; so proud

to be his daughter.

Now, many years later.

his book in front of me, 

newly printed for proof-reading,

I feel a strange sensation,

almost like vertigo,

as events and experiences

that correspond with

both our stories

are laid in front of me

once again;

To what extent

do our stories define us,

I wonder?

To what extent 

do the words we see and hear

shape our destinies, 

our DNA?

Most of this book is fully

embedded in my memory; not word for word,

but story by story.

I’ve walked the same pathways,

nearly fifty years later,

to recapture the awe of

first hearing these tales

of my Papa’s childhood; I’ve relived 

the memories with him,

From climbing the cliffs of

Crystal Falls to

Hemodialysis and being so close

to death we can hear our

ancestors speaking to

Mural painting in church basements.

In search for our own

creative powers; 

Even my signature is

framed by

the three stars that

inspired him to paint his 

“Trinity Mural”,” when he was

almost my age”, in which

he unconsciously

(at the time)

portrayed the Divine Feminine that I

so purposefully seek to embody

in my words and images.

Yet our stories continue, so

intimately 

woven together with

so many lives

that I am prompted to

question the spaces

between beings, 

and am left

Awe-Struck.

Ilara is an Edmonton-based writer, visual artist, community builder, and seeker of wisdom in the little moments.  She has been a lifelong advocate for people with disabilities, having lived with chronic conditions her entire life, and spent many of her teen and early adult years working and living in communities for adults with disabilities while always stretching to pursue her own creative spirit. 

Ilara now works as the Director of Religious Education for Westwood Unitarian Congregation and is an active member of Assiniboia Community Housing Co-operative.  She is inspired by the people in her life, a love of synchronicity, and a passion for digging into the depths of who she is and how things are connected.  She is fueled by a passion for people, peace, and a yearning for the ineffable sense of balance of power that she believes is still possible somehow.